Dave Barry
Dave Barry was born in Armonk, New York, in 1947 and has been steadily growing older ever since without ever actually reaching maturity. He attended public schools, where he distinguished himself by not getting in nearly as much trouble as he would have if the authorities had been aware of everything. He is proud to have been elected Class Clown by the Pleasantville High School class of 1965.
Barry went to Haverford College, where he majored in English and wrote lengthy scholarly papers filled with sentences that even he did not understand. He graduated in 1969 and eventually got a job with the Daily Local News, in West Chester, Pennsylvania, where he covered a series of incredibly dull municipal meetings, some of which are still going on.
In 1975 Barry joined Burger Associates, a consulting firm that teaches effective writing to businesspersons. He spent nearly eight years trying to get various businesspersons to for God's sake stop writing things like, "Enclosed please find the enclosed enclosure," but he eventually realized that it was hopeless. So in 1983 he took a job at the Miami Herald, and he has been there ever since, although he never answers the phone. In 1988, he won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary, pending a recount.
Barry's first novel, "Big Trouble," was published in 1999. He has written a number of short, but harmful books, including "Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States" (Ballantine Books) and "Babies and Other Hazards of Sex" (Rodale Press). His recent books, "Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down" (Crown Publishing), "Dave Barry Turns 50" (Random House), "Dave Barry in Cyberspace" (Random House) and "Dave Barry's Complete Guide To Guys" (Random House), have been hailed by the critics as "containing a tremendous amount of white space."
The CBS television series "Dave's World" was based on two of Barry's books. Barry performs with a less-than-stellar band called the Rock Bottom Remainders with fellow writers Amy Tan, Stephen King, Matt Groening and several others.
Dave Barry Samples
Magic, or Love at First Sight
I don't believe in most magic, and by magic, I include fate, miracles, astrology, time travel and several major metropolitan light-rock stations. But I do believe in love at first sight. College, fall of freshman year, can be a lonely place.
I'm King of the Burger!
One night, a few years ago, three of my buddies and I went out for a burger. As news of The Burger Boys spread, so did our membership.
My Kids Have Weird Names, Too
It's not as easy to find a child named after an Apostle as it used to be. And so it is with all the kids I know.
Get Off My Lawn
"You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Spoken by barkeep Moe Szyslak in the "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace" episode of "The Simpsons," these words have never felt more true than today.
Money for Nothing
My 5-year-old son is developing an interest in money, and -- at the risk of being labeled a socialist by Glenn Beck -- I'm not finding it very enjoyable.
Lebron James Will Regret Leaving Mediocre Team, City
Shame on Lebron James for wanting good teammates!
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